Nausea brought on by the slightly fisheyed field of view in Dark Messiah: Might and Magic: Elements kept me from completing the demo but those with greater intestinal fortitude than I might have fun galavanting through its fantasy world, blasting knights and mummies and who knows what else with fire ballls, etc. Probably not, though, because what I did play was probably about as fun as working at the subtitle factory that helped name this poor, generic mess. Unless you're a rabid fan of the series I'd steer clear.

While I can't say that I've even heard of any of the bands whose songs you can now pay money for in this latest batch of downloads for Guitar Hero 3, Activision is spreading some winter-solstice cheer in the form of a free speed metal version of "We Three Kings," demonstrated here in expert form by YouTube user soyamanden:



The other songs? Maybe you've heard of them:

Content: Die fantastischen vier "Ernten Was Wir Säen" - Single Track
Price: 200 Microsoft Points

Content: Extremoduro "So Payaso" - Single Track
Price: 200 Microsoft Points

Content: Trust "Antisocial" - Single Track
Price: 200 Microsoft Points

After a brief hiccup last week Sensible World of Soccer is now again available for download on the Live Marketplace. I gave the demo a whirl and while I appreciate the 16-bit graphics and simple controls (the d-pad and the A-button are about all you'll need) my general ignorance about the sport of soccer didn't help me not get trampled by the AI-controlled opposing team. Retro-games-friendly soccer fans will probably have a good time with this one, though.

While my interest in Duke Nukem games has decreased largely every year past my thirteenth birthday I'm sure there are plenty of new thirteen-year-olds inhabiting the Earth who may enjoy a game in which a muscular man threatens to take a dump on an alien boar. Just for those young rapscallions, I present the latest teaser trailer for Duke Nukem Forever:



3D Realms haven't announced a release date or platform for Duke Forever but I think it's safe to say that it will be on every system they can hire a monkey to port it to. As for the release date? My money's on Fall 2010.

And an excellent week for Rock Band it is, with classic tracks from The Pretenders, Weezer, and, uh, Radiohead. Okay, I guess a lot of people like Radiohead. I'll allow it.

Content: "My Iron Lung"
Price: 160 Microsoft Points
Availability: United States

Content: "Brass In Pocket"*
Price: 160 Microsoft Points
Availability: United States

Content: "buddy holly"
Price: 160 Microsoft Points
Availability: United States

The Pretenders track is, unfortunately, a cover. But by who? Could it be...Scarlett Johansson?

Tempest
First up to the Live Arcade plate this week is Tempest (One of the two inspirations for Space Giraffe, the other being A Whole Lot of Weed, Man.) Vector graphics might have wowed audiences enough in the 80s to distract them from the mostly-boring Spinning Around and shooting gameplay but this is the future, man. You're going to need, at the very least, a whole lot of swearing and violence towards aliens if you want us to enjoy your shallow gameplay now. Anyway, it's 400 points if you really want it.

Sensible World of Soccer
I don't have any firsthand impressions of this game to give you because it's been pulled off of the Live Arcade for some last minute bug-squashing. I'll tell you this, though: if it's anything like the hit SNES game Mega Man Soccer it's gonna be a total blast. Note: It's probably not even a little like Mega Man Soccer. Bummer, I know.

There's fresh demos on Xbox Live for both those who like to run-and-shoot and those who like to, uh, drive. First you get to exchange some blood for oil in the near-future FPS Frontlines: Fuel of War:

Content: Frontlines™: Fuel of War™ Demo
Price: Free
Availability: Not available India
Dash Text: [ESRB: RP (Rating Pending)] Frontlines™: Fuel of War™ is an open-world First Person Shooter set on the frontlines of tomorrow. In a world ravaged by a global energy crisis, environmental decay, and economic depression, players assume the role of an elite soldier in the Western Coalition Army on an epic crusade against the Red Star Alliance to control the last of the world's oil reserves. Frontlines: Fuel of War combines intensely cinematic, non-linear game play, with next generation weaponry and a revolutionary Frontline Combat System™ to deliver the most thrilling and engaging FPS to date.

And then you can pump that sweet crude straight into your "pimped out ride" to fuel your Burnout Paradise antics:

Content: Burnout™ Paradise demo
Price: Free
Availability: Not available in Asia
Dash Text: [ESRB: E10+ (Everyone 10+)] Welcome to the burnout paradise Demo. Explore Motor City, Big Surf Beach and Ocean View. Discover Jumps, Stunts and Smashes all over the map, and if you're online invite friends to join you for some challenges. Remember, this is just a small part of Paradise City. For the full Burnout experience, buy the full game coming in January 2008.
Size: 835.53 MB

You don't have to tell me, I know that "fragging bitches" day after day on the same old, tired Halo 3 maps can really bring you down. You can only see those [INSERT MAP DETAIL HERE] of [INSERT MAP NAME HERE] so many times before it all starts to look the same, you know? Good thing that there's a new map pack available on the Live Marketplace right now:

Content: Halo 3 Heroic Map Pack
Price: 800 Microsoft Points
Availability: Not available in India
Dash Text: [ESRB: M (Mature) BLOOD AND GORE,MILD LANGUAGE,VIOLENCE] The Heroic map pack contains three new maps, each presenting a totally different play style. Standoff's symmetrical valley, with its entrenched bases and fields of boulders is ideal for mid-sized objective and slayer game types, while Rat's Nest's vast, labyrinthine passages bring something quite new to the Halo multiplayer experience - an indoor vehicle paradise, strongly influenced by the Campaign mode ideal for big team battles. Finally, Foundry is the ultimate Forge map - players can edit every single object in this voluminous industrial warehouse, place stairways, walls, bridges and tunnels to create an entirely new play space and build almost any kind of map they can think of. There are no refunds for this item. For more information, see www.xbox.com/live/accounts.

Eight-hundred SpaceBucks gets you the new maps today but if you've got the patience Bungie promises that 'eventually' these maps will be made available for free.

Arkadian Warriors

Ex-MMO-addicts like myself will appreciate Arkadian Warriors, which seems to be a simple Diablo-esque action RPG where kindly old NPCs tell you to go to some dungeon and kill 15 whatevers. The demo only features one such quest (The whatevers? Boars.) but I imagine that the rest of the game is pretty similar. There are three character classes to add a little variety to the way in which you kill the 15 whatevers, but the demo only lets you hack away with the warrior class. This might be a fun title to revisit in those long, gameless summer months but I imagine you've got something better to spend your time on for now.

GripShift

A nice looking casual racer with arcade style loosey-goosey controls. Don't we have a few too many of these on the Live Arcade already?

In a recent interview with 1UP Microsoft admitted to one of the obvious reasons you can't just pay exact change for what downloads cost on the Live Marketplace:

"The reason why we do that, the core reason, is around credit card transaction fees," said Greenberg. "If we do this in bulk, we don't have to burden the consumer with the transaction fees, or ourselves or publishers. It's about keeping infrastructure costs down and I know sometimes it's frustrating because you end up with odd points, but we don't have any plans to change that."

Transaction fees might be the "core reason" but there are plenty of other perks Microsoft gets with the Points plan. Like, say, how unused points are basically an interest-free loan. Funny how it seems to work out that you've always get a few extra points floating around in your account, hm?